Remember how Updike referred to that girl's breasts as two [large] [drops] of vanilla? Actually, he said scoops of vanilla, but yeah. Why didn't he just say that she was plump? Because he wanted an image that would lodge itself so deeply i…

The ray from the flashlight stopped when it landed on a [little] pair of [legs]. Is that a leprechaun? Umm, yeah. I knew we shouldn't have come here.

In a little more than a month, I can fashion a sword with the perfect plane. Okay. Cool.